I’ve been friends with a guy for awhile now and although we have never been more than friends, he used to like me and now the tables have turned and I like him. I don’t know if he has feelings for me or if it could ever be more than a friendship. For one reason or another, we lose connection (sometimes for a few years at a time) and then all of a sudden, he pops in my life again. Makes me think it’s for a reason… But then I tend to read too much into things. He says and does things sometimes that make me think maybe he likes me but I don’t get why he all of a sudden stops talking to me – he said he enjoys hanging out but then nada. I just don’t get it – help, I’m clueless!
Clueless, I really doubt you are as your name suggests. Deep down inside you know the answer but like many of us have done, we become little Jesse Jacksons and try to keep hope alive.
Here’s something to ponder about us men. We will go far and out of our way to be with somebody we really dig. We pay attention to everything a hyna likes, does and most importantly – says. En serio, would you want to be with somebody who gives mixed signals or who isn’t completely loco for you? Chale! Respect yourself and the value of who you are.
When your amigo used to like you, there was a sense of mystery and intrigue because the possibilities of a deeper relationship was looming. You see, us men, we like the thrill of the hunt. In the beginning, he was hungry like the wolf (gracias Duran²) but you escaped and he went hunting elsewhere. Now, you have become Artemis but your bow is not satisfied. Watcha: Greek Mythology-Analogy Alert!
He keeps in contact because, subconsciously to him, you are territorial prey. I’m sure there are bits of flirting going on but that’s just him seeing within himself that he still got it. It’s an ego boost for him. You read more into it because you want him to want you. But no matter how many times you sing that Cheap Trick (the group, not you) song, it won’t make what you long for a reality. Despensa.
Remember what I said about us guys going all out for something we want? Well, if he really wanted to be with you, he would have made it happen, captain. I’m reminded of a line from an old Fleetwood Mac song, Monday Morning:
But you know it’s true; you only want me when I get over you.
Trust me chica, the faster you get over him and quit over analyzing, the faster you’ll see somebody else in hot pursuit.
Submit your questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org