Deja La…So She Can Learn!

Concerned in the 619 wrote:

One of my gal pals is looking for a long term relationship. However, she wastes her time with good-for-nothing douche bags because she’s yet to find what she’s looking for. I’ve told her to stop settling but she says she’d rather have a man to hang out with than no one at all. What can I do or say to help?     

Concerned, you can talk until you’re blue in the cara but that won’t make a difference to your amiga.  She has, in essence, become a settler.  No, I’m not talking about frontier day settlers or like the ones on the Oregon Trail. (You ‘member that old school computer game?  You ‘member!)  She settles for less than what she deserves.  Sadly, a lot of gente do the same thing because they either lack self confidence or they think that they aren’t worth it.  Also,  people just get frustrated or impatient waiting for somebody that will treat them well and more importantly, respect them.  I’ve seen it too many times.  

I’m sure your intentions are good but she seems intent on sticking with D-bags.  As sad as it seems to hear, if she rather be with those jack-a-lopes than be alone – let her be.  She obviously likes the pain.  Is she a masochist by the way?  Either that or she must be young.  Most women who have dealt with their share of pendejos would rather be alone than to put up with them.  It’s a sign of maturity which, it seems, your amiga lacks. 

We’ve all been in relationships that were unhealthy or that were just flat out wrong to be in.  People on the outside looking in, more often than not, have better perceptions than we do.  I know you want the best for her but let her make her mistakes.  She’ll eventually realize what you and probably other people were trying to tell her.  Sometimes, experience is a better teacher.  It’s chupi, I know, but if she won’t take advise, then it’s on her to learn the hard way.

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