Fear & Loathing In Los Angeles

As a life-long fan of Los Lakers, it was painful for me to see the Mavericks sweep them out of the playoffs.  I will tip my hat to the Mavs, though.  They played better and were the hungrier team.  Sometimes you just gotta give credit where credit is due.  So what went wrong with the Lake Show?  Jefe is sure to get some flak for what he’s about to list but he’s cool with it, so here we go. 

The Triangle Offense.  This offense is supposed to allow easy looks at the basket for shooters along the baseline and elbow extended.  Bigs are supposed to take advantage of looks they get in the high or low post.  Everything is predicated (wacha, Jefe used a big word) by spacing and ball/player movement.  Here’s the problem, the Lakers sucked at all three.  Spacing was crappy especially when the bigs were involved; not by any fault of their own. It’s just that when a player would pass the ball into the paint, he’d take his defender towards the big with the ball.  Also, players would get sucked into watching another player(s) hold the ball for too long.  I won’t mention any names but they rhyme with Kobe and Gasol.  Speaking of which…

Kobe Bryant.  This vato irritates the crap out of me.  He is an offense killer.  He’ll hold the ball too long or over-dribble.  Did I mention that he hardly passes to wide open teammates (see LO at end of game 3)?  Pass the effin’ ball,Kobe!  With his best years behind, he still likes to jack up impossible shots as though he’s wearing the number eight and has a fro.  He cries on just about every shot he misses because he swears he got fouled.  Shut up and play the game, ese!  I don’t think he even realizes that players aren’t afraid of him anymore.  If he did, he wouldn’t try and take them one on one and have them strip the ball away or just lose it.  So this is what it was like to watch Willie Mays at the end of his career. 

Pau Gasol.  Just like Kobe, Pau holds the ball too long.  He’ll usually get the ball in the high post and settle for a jumper.  A jumper?  Are you kiddin’ me?  What a waste of body!  Hey vato, you’re seven friggin’ foot tall!  The playoffs saw him revert to his Gasoft ways.  Ay que güey!  I know a lot of WNBA teams that would love to have him but then again, a lot of them even think he’s a bitch. 

Derek Fisher.  I love me some D-Fish but he just can’t keep up with the new breed of point guards out there.  Still, I’d take him shooting the ball with the game on the line.  Then again, he’d have to pry it out of Kobe’s hands. 

The Bench.  The Lakers bench was horrible this year.  Outside of LO (Lamar Odom), they were just chupi.  En serio!  They were chupier than most brand name vacuums. 

Cora as in Corazon.  The Lakers just lacked heart.  I don’t know if it was apathy or arrogance but they never seemed to really care throughout the season. Everybody kept on saying they’d flip the switch.  NO!  Great teams look to take another team’s heart and soul.  The Lakers never did that.  There were glimpses but that was it.  They hardly showed the heart of champions.  Their greatest chance to show the world was in game four.  They coulda gone out fighting like champs.  Instead, they went out like chumps. 

I don’t know what next season will bring but I do hope it is some youth and athleticism on the perimeter.  Andrew Bynum, if healthy, should be a dominant force.  Also, if  Pau goes Gasoft again, we need to ship him to the Greek leagues.  Any way we can get Trevor Ariza (T-Rizzy) back?

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One response to “Fear & Loathing In Los Angeles

  1. Didn’t watch the game but I’ve heard much about it. Glad I didn’t miss anything. LOL

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