Tom Petty Games

Upset wrote:

You can be cool and like Tom Petty or you can be a culero by being petty.

I told my boyfriend about a close friend’s birthday party two months ago.  He had planned to go and everything was fine.  Recently, we got into a discussion about some of his close friends and I told him that I was uncomfortable around a few of them and didn’t want to hang around them.   I explained why and he was fine with it or so it seemed.  When time came for the party, he said he couldn’t make it and made all kinds of excusesI know him so well and told him to quit making excuses and just own up to the fact of why he really didn’t want to go.  I know it was because of our discussion.  He just said we’re moving past it.  I want to move past it but then he says things in daily conversation that contradict his excuses of why he didn’t want to go.  I’ll bring it to his attention and he gets upset and says I thought we moved past it.  I’m hurt and irritated because I want to talk about it and not just “move past it.”  What do you think? 

Upset, let me play devil’s advocate here.  Roll playing can be fun (que no?) but that’s neither here nor there.  Why are you so upset?  Why do you want him to just own up?  What do you want to accomplish?  Are you trying to make a point to him or just trying to validate yourself?  Think about it for a bit.  Jefe will come back to that train of thought. 

Obviously, your vato was being petty by not wanting to go to the party.  It’s not cool to renege on plans he made with you.  Jefe don’t dig on him telling you, we’re moving past it, either.  That’s just his way of trying to avoid discussing the issue(s) with you.  I think he’s embarrassed that he pulled that movida so he’ll find ways to not talk about it.  It’s stupid on his part but then again, guys are pretty stupid in relationships. I’m sure you hurt his feelings when you told him that you didn’t want to hang around some of his amigos.  What guy doesn’t want his girl around his best buds? That still doesn’t justify him being a baby (I’m being kind). You both need to sit down and get to the heart of the matter.  Cliché as it may be, communication is the key (rhyme not intended).  There’s the likelihood that resentment will creep in and cause a bigger divide if you don’t talk.   

Let’s get back to you.  I’m not saying you don’t have a valid gripe.  You most certainly do.  What I am saying is check your motives.  As stated earlier, are you trying to make a point for him or yourself?  Jefe has had to put himself in check on many occasions.  Experience has taught me that I don’t always have to be right or try to prove a point.  Ego and pride can destroy a relationship.  It’s much easier for words of wisdom to teach that lesson instead of experience.  

Again, you do have a valid gripe but make sure when you finally talk, it’s with a humble and sincere heart.  Do your best not to let hurt and disappointment take over the conversation.  There’s a good chance that he’ll see how petty he was in the whole matter.  There’s also the chance that he is just oblivious (or a pendejo) and then you’ll have to ask yourself if you’re fine with that.  Here’s hoping for the best.

Submit your questions to: ask_jefe@yahoo.com

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s