The ESPYS (And Moments That Didn’t Suck)

When it comes to the evil four letter station (ESPN), Jefe is cynical about it and their programming of the sporting world.  They do get a few things right such as SportsCenter, the 30 for 30 documentary series, Erin Andrews (cheeow!) and sometimes – The ESPYS.  Here are some of Jefe’s favorite moments from The ESPYS and other comments that he just can’t keep to himself.

Brian Wilson is rad!  That crazy vato from the San Pancho Giants sported a spandex tuxedo.  Forget the beard and hair, he just took fashion to a whole other level.  Which level that is remains to be seen but there are only a few people in the world that would be able to pull off that look.  Then again, maybe not.  Only Brian Loco.

Raphael Saadiq is a bad…shut yo’ mouth!  Unlike other musical performers of the past, this soulful brother and New Jack Swing pioneer can just bring it.  Here’s an idea, keep brother Raphael playing the ESPYS until he can’t play Hideo Nomo!  *Brownie points if you get that reference and are not a cholo Dodger fan.

Serena Williams is a time traveler.  She has to be because only she could inspire the lyrics to the Commodore’s classic, Brick House.  To borrow from some famous lines, “She’s mighty, mighty…just lettin’ it all hang out; She’s a Brick House!”  That hyna is built.  Somewhere, Sir Mix A Lot is smiling.

The Miami Heat and Los Angeles Dodgers are terrific punch lines.  Add any and all jokes here.

Cee Lo Green is the world’s tallest midget.  En serio, Jefe did not “fix” that photo in any way, shape or form.  That chaparrito has to be from Oaxaca because not only is he short, he’s one ugly summa ma.  It’s a good thing he can sing.

Jefe & Emmanuelle Present...

Emmanuelle Chriqui needs to be a presenter at every award show.  I don’t care if it’s the Emmys, the Tonys, the Heisman Trophy Ceremony, The Nobels…she just needs to be there!  I’ll even make a few up just so she could be a presenter with me.  It’s a win-win situation.  God bless America!

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