The Güey Back Machine: Fun Fountain & Chunti Slip N Slide

Like any kid in the summer time, Jefe liked to play in the water. Unfortunately for Jefe, he didn’t have a pool.  Up until he was about 5, all Jefe and his siblings had for water sports/recreation was the oscillating sprinkler that was used for both the front and back yards.  It was simple and provided lots of fun but Jefe was a very hyper active child and grew restless with said sprinkler.

One day, Jefe’s jefe brought home “The Fun Fountain”.  You hook up the mangera to the clown chingadera (rhyme intended) and then, voila – water fun and good times!  We would make up games like try to catch the hat while running through the water.  Also, we would try to see how high we could get the hat by blasting the water all the way on.  A funny (and painful) thing a young Jefe learned; you have to be careful running and jumping through a powerful stream of water because your crotch is susceptible to getting nailed.

After a good 4-5 years of summer time abuse, the Fun Fountain was retired.  It was puro plastico and the sun would wear so much on it that it began to crack.   To make matters worse, Jefe’s sister was often invited to her friend’s house to play on her new Slip N Slide and no boys were allowed.  Discouraged but not defeated, Jefe’s mente was devising a plan like Hannibal Smith on the A-Team.

They say that necessity is the mother of invention so Jefe took it upon himself to make his own Slip N Slide.  Jefe became McGyver before that vato was even on TV.  Armed with trash can liners, duct tape and drafting the help of neighbor pal and chum, Kristen,  Jefe made his own chunti slip y slide. 

Laid out on the lush lawn of Kristen’s front yard, the chunti slip y slide was a site to marvel for 10-year-old Jefe and Kristen.  Proud of their accomplishment, they turned on her sprinklers.  Yes, sprinklers plural.  Kristen’s family was white and they had a sprinkler system and not an oscillating sprinkler like Jefe and his familia.  At that time, to have a system was mas chingon because it was like high technology to Mexicans but that’s neither here nor there so I digress.

Hour after hour, Jefe and Kristen played on the chunti slip y slide.  They didn’t care that other kids had the real one.  It was the same thing to them – only difference was that theirs was black and gray compared to yellow.  Unfortunately for Jefe and Kristen, after playing so long on the chunti slip y slide it left a huge matted and muddy mess underneath that Kristen’s mom didn’t appreciate.  We were told we couldn’t play on the chunti slip y slide there. 

Don’t feel bad for Jefe, though.  No need for Sana Sanas.  Jefe’s dad, who was the OG Mexican McGyver, was proud of him and his (albeit chunti) ingenuity and would later get the real Slip N Slide for Jefe and his sister.  Ah, summer time memories in the Güey Back Machine.


3 responses to “The Güey Back Machine: Fun Fountain & Chunti Slip N Slide

  1. We were the white family whose parents wouldn’t let do anything as “dangerous” as a slip and slide… But somehow motorcycles and guns were okay…go figure…

  2. Hahahah… this was a good one, brought back some memories of my own.

    Reminds me, of me and a certain cousin who were poor and couldn’t afford a real tetherball. So of course our McGyver ingenuity came out as well. We would find a rope – in my grandpa’s garage, ally, street where ever, get a grocery bag and find a ball. Simply place the ball in the grocery bag tie off with a rubber band from the news paper (my grandpa had thousands of these on all the door knobs throughout the house) tie bag and ball to rope and tie rope to the stop sign on the corner of Lemon and LaVerne…lol…hours of fun until the bag broke and the ball went into the street. Easy fix though just find another grocery bag and repeat steps.

    However, when we came home from school one day and saw other kids in the neighborhood had stole our idea we were thinking of a way to make money off the idea they stole from us! That certain cousin was pissed!

  3. Oh the great memories that are made when necessity develops ingenuity and ingenuity develops a chunti means to make feria. I wish I had that insight back in the day because I would have made about five more slip n slides and have my own water park and charge mad feria for the rides. It’s a good thing you get along with your cousin and don’t get into any arguments or heaven forbid, physical altercations where one is pushed over a glass coffee table.

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